I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
