I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
