where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
