Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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