im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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