I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
