My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He better not be in your backpack
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
