It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
