I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
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I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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