Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
