you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
