So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
