This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
no you cant smoke seaweed
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
