Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
