you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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