Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
