I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
