I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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