took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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