..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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