Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
thus making me awesome and them whores
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
