I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
