so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i wish my penis had a tongue
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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