Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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