ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You made out with two different species that night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
