Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
