to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
