i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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