I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
