walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
