She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
