So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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