What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
