Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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