i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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