I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
accomplished twins. life is a go
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize