I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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