I think my vagina is haunted
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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