i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
