Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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