I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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