i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I intend to get homeless drunk
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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