I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize