Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
