mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
