we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
