Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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