I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
