Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
