just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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