I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
