I'm really into asian looking animals
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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