your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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