He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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