just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
