Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
