Can i not drive my cunt home
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
